Image Credits: Guille Faingold
If I were to ask everyone reading this, to raise their hand if they’re questioning, or ever have questioned, their relationship, you wouldn’t believe how many hands you’d see. You’re not alone. You’re just five fingers in a sea of hands. Everyone questions their relationship and their love at some point or another in their lifetime. Hell, I’d probably even go as far as to say that every single relationship that ever existed, had at least one of the two people questioning it at one point or another.
I just don’t see the possibility of the perfect relationship existing. After all, you need friction to make fire. And what kind of a relationship is it if there isn’t any passion? Definitely not a perfect one. The truth is that even if the two of you are perfect for each other, you’re likely to question whether or not the two of you are as perfect as you believe you to be.
Don’t forget, we’re only human. Even if there isn’t a reason for us to worry, we’re likely to worry. Which makes sense if you think about it… the more important something is to us, the more afraid we are of losing it. You’re questioning whether or not you’re making the right decision, because making the right decision is incredibly important to you. So it’s not so much that you don’t trust them; you don’t trust yourself.
The real question is: should you trust yourself. Now don’t get me wrong, we should all get to the point where we’re capable of trusting ourselves, and more importantly, the point where we should trust ourselves. However, we’re not all there yet. Some of us aren’t capable of trusting ourselves. Others still, capable or not, should not be trusting their decision-making skills. I’m sorry, but it’s true.
If you fall into one of these categories, you know it’s true. You may not like to admit it to yourself, but deep down inside, you know that if you were to take a moment and examine where your decisions have brought you thus far, you’d have no other avenue, than to conclude that you’re not the best at leading your own life.
That’s okay. It’s not ideal, but it’s something that you can change. Now, this may reflect in your career, in your friendships, and — more often than not — in your romantic relationships. While we don’t always have a reason to be questioning our love for a person, there are some of us that should be doing just that. The issue is, that the worse the relationship actually is for us, the more it tends to suck us in. An awful relationship may not make you happy, but it can definitely make you feel alive. Problem is, you end up living in hell — and you, your own captor.
It can be incredibly difficult leaving someone when the relationship is excitingly horrible. If it’s boring, then any one of us would just call it quits. But when there is a lot of energy, albeit negative and destructive energy, many feel drawn to it. So how in the world are you to convince yourself to break things off, when you’ve become addicted to the pain?
Find some self-respect. Or rather, muster it up. You have respect for yourself in there somewhere — you were designed that way. You just need to acknowledge the fact that you haven’t been treating yourself very well lately. Even if it is him or her that’s been treating you like garbage, it’s still you that’s allowing it to happen. In the end, you’re choosing to keep things the way they are. You’re choosing to stay unhappy.
Relationships are all about respect. Unless the two of you respect each other as human beings, making sure not to purposefully hurt, embarrass, or harass one another, you’ll never make the relationship work. You’ll never be happy… but not because he or she is treating you disrespectfully, but because you’re allowing yourself to be treated in such a manner — day in and day out. You’ll never be happy until you realize your worth, and make sure everyone in your life realizes it as well. If they’re incapable of that much… then why keep them around at all?
It can be difficult accepting that we are the reason we’re so miserable. I mean yes, the person you’re with is certainly the catalyst to your unhappiness, but you’re there, sitting and watching as he or she walks all over you. Why? Why would you allow anyone to treat you that way? You can point the finger all you want, but at the end of the day, you’re the one that refuses to call it quits.
Relationships are never easy — ever. People bump heads. We have bad days and sometimes aren’t able to hold it in, yelling at the one we love for no good reason. We’re emotional beings, and emotional beings aren’t always driven by rationale. You’re relationship will never be perfect… but that doesn’t mean you should settle for garbage. That doesn’t mean that you should settle for someone that treats you like garbage. You’re better than that. You just need to find the courage to call it as it is, and put an end to something that probably never should have started to begin with. I know it’s not easy, but one day you will thank yourself for it. Be strong and never stop loving yourself; happiness starts from within, and grows outward.